Everlong

Hello, I've waited here for you....

So we are at 36 weeks and hopefully I'm just a short time from meeting Bean.
It feels as though it has been an extraordinarily long time coming from those first steps on the IVF trail. Not for a moment has the feeling of doubt left me. We are so close and still can't believe how well it is going.

The misses is in great health and everything is ready and waiting. Everything remains crossed and it's difficult no to get carried away and allow myself to get too excited.

Ain't got no....

Nina Simone, wow what a woman what a voice.
Me and the misses took a short trip down to North Cornwall and I duly loaded the iPod with some new material. I'm unsure if it was the mood of the music or that I was felling very relaxed and open but every song that blasted out made me want to cry. Cry in a good way I was sort of euphoric and filled with energy during one song 'Ain't got no/ I got life'.
So I now have 3 songs to pick me up when I'm low!!

33 weeks down and gradually the misses is getting a little more uncomfortable and finding it difficult to sleep most nights. The kicking and moving seems to increase when I'm chatting or singing which I'm taking as a positive!

Great news over at 'Pattycake' & 'Gills blog, please pop over and offer them some encouragement. It really means a great deal to get a kind word, I know that I have benefited.

Well we're heading into the final stages and I hope to update a little more frequently.

Take care
px

Tellin' stories

I am preparing for the very serious business of fatherhood by taking note of some highly recommended literature. In other news Bean's room is coming along very nicely and I have some pictures available here.

The misses is 31 weeks into this adventure and the Doc said that the baby is likely to be around the 9lb mark. Both she and Bean are healthy and both have been advised to take things a little more leisurely. Bean is quite active and likes to party into the wee small hours, can't think where that comes from........Around 5am I can pretty much guarantee the smell of fresh toast wafting from the kitchen as Bean orders another snack from room service. Baby Bean also seems to enjoy ice cream, breakfast cereal, oranges and spicy food (especially Indian).

I'm doing a little better and have strted to deal with my problems by talking it through with a profesional. It's a long road but I'm in a really positive mood.

Little Bear

30 weeks and all is well. Bean is a real livewire, moving, hiccuping, punching getting feet stuck in the misses rib cage.
We still can't believe how lucky we are.

We've managed to decorate the baby's room and it is begining to fill with nappies, clothes, bedding and assorted stuff. It really is happening.

Hope you are all doing well
p x

Karma Police

Everything is good with the misses and Bean, however...

Struggling with motivation to update the blog at the moment as everything should be so right but its all so wrong. Need some time to sort myself out.

Take care and I hope to be back soon x

Hey, turn that music up......

Bean is a lively little one, I have been trying to ensure that good tunes are being heard by Bean.
So far not a fan of Depeche Mode or Bloc Party, Does like some fast paced Funky House music and Scott Matthews.

Till there was you

Where to start? So much has happened and so much of it pretty boring.

Bean is doing really well. The 22 week scan showed that Bean is approx 1lb 6oz and growing at the end of the scale. There seems to be no doubt that he/she will be a monster. My poor misses......

The scan also showed a profile shot and you can clearly see hands, feet, spine, heart and sadly for Bean a nose as pointy as mine. I'll try and add the latest scan picture later on tonight.

The misses is well and enjoying the unseasonably good weather we are enjoying in the UK. No rain and 15 days of temperatures in the 70's. She has an ever increasing bump and I can feel bean moving about. It is a fantastic feeling.

Oh and we decided on a boys name yesterday which came with no arguments and no discussion, it just sounded right which is pretty cool. Girls names however are proving a little more tricky.

Roadtrippin'

Tonight we begin a 1000 mile roadtrip to see some family. Today we are going to begin from london and down the evil M4 motorway to Wales.
A's brother moved there last summer with his wife and our 2 beautiful nieces. We found out last week that they are also expecting a new arrival in October.
It is a beautiful part of the world despite the fact that the girls have picked up a Welsh accent! I always manage to corrupt them in a few hours. Before we leave them on Monday I'll have them talking like Londoners which will annoy the sister in law.

On Monday we drive from Wales to Scotland to stay with A's aunt and uncle in the Border region. Again it is such a beautiful place and the misses' family make me very welcome. Whilst she has to sit around drinking tea and chatting with the aunt's I get to go to the pub and get hammered with the male folk or play some golf.

I'll be back after Easter and hopefully we'll have an updated scan and an update.
Take care
Px

Kick

Bean is becoming quite lively, the misses feels these little sensations many times during the day and they are becoming stronger.
I have been desperate to feel a kick or elbow or headbutt for the past 10 days and I have managed on one occasion to feel a bump against my hand.

We still are so very excited and cautious. A is doing very well and in excellent health.

Take care p x

Strange brew

Everything has been going well this week for the Misses and Bean.

The nightly trip to the toilet and countless hours of being awake are beginning to give the misses a little grief but on the whole she is still very healthy and we are still so very thankful.

Tomorrow is St Patrick's Day and an important date in our calender.

First thing tomorrow we trade in my Sporty 2 door German coupe for a not so sporty 5 door German car. I have promised not to sulk.

Then it's breakfast at me Ma's with the family and the afternoon will be spent at one of my Uncles house with a hundred or so family members, kids, dogs, friends and Guinness.

The misses will then gallantly drive us to our friends house where we will be having more Guinness and a BBQ. I will be mostly singing Irish songs for the entire hour journey along the motorway. Fortunately I have an excellent voice.

Sunday will be spent in recovery and I'll be booking my liver in for a service first thing Monday.

Have a great weekend and I hope you enjoy the link below.....

http://www.guinness.com/gb_en/StPats2007/dance.html?UID=AC7142

The Fields of Athenry

Hello Bean part 2.

Well today was great for two reasons.

Number 1 reason for a good day was that we got to see Bean again. Manda has a very very cool friend who brought us a session at a private clinic for an ultrasound scan. It was even more special as neither of our Mums had ever seen an ultrasound scan of their kids (my ma had 3 boys and m's mum had a boy and a girl) so there we all were in this private clinic m's mum & dad, my ma, me and manda. Into the little room we went and Bean appeared in a matter of seconds. It was great to see the grandparents faces as Bean moved to and fro. Elbows, feet and and face came into and out of focus and there were "oohs" and "ahhhs" from all. What an event it was I'm so pleased that they got to see Bean.

The 2nd reason is that Ireland beat Scotland in the Six Nations championship. It is a big deal to rugby fans in northern Europe and I'm a Paddy whilst the misses is a Scott. The Irish managed to win by a point but the victory means bragging rights for another 12 months.

Eireann go Brach !

Low lie the fields of Atherny,
Where once we watched the small freebird fly.........

Hi Brenda

I did take a picture but it was really rubbish. It was a small white crescent in a sea of black, so I thought I'd borrow this beautiful picture.

I hope you are well and thank you for stopping by to read my nonsense.

Bad moon rising

Wow, Last Saturday evening me and the misses were lucky enough to witness a lunar eclipse.

These beautiful moments are difficult to see from the UK as 52% of our days are overcast so I was delighted to have such a clear sky on Saturday.

Whilst we were outside I could hear some kids (it was late about 11.30pm) and they were delighted to be outside at such a late hour. It got me thinking and I hope to bore my kids silly (I or my peers did not appreciate Science or History until I was in my mid twenties), drag them outside in the middle of the night and say "hey look at that, isn't it marvelous?" I expect Bean to shrug shoulders and say "s'alright".

The very fact I can picture this makes me feel cautious but ultimately optimistic.

Sorry, this post does not make much sense and I'm not even sure if it has a point.

But that is why we have bloggs right?

MIA

Need to do some catching up, so lets start with the good stuff.

The misses is doing just fine. Last Friday we had another midwife appointment which went really well. Bean has a very strong heartbeat and well, so far so good.
The midwife was really lovely and a pleasant change from the witch we encountered on our first visit.

Everyday that we get further into the pregnancy we continue to count our lucky stars. Not for a single moment have we taken this for granted. The misses is feeling much better during this stage of the pregnancy but has not had any wired cravings yet other than a new found desire to drink an illuminus fizzy orange drink call Tango oh and this weekend I smell like chocolate milk apparantly.




I've been not so good and as usual, hid it from the very person who can help me most. Anyway had a chat on Saturday night and I do feel much better.
I don't want to explore it too much today 'cos I feel good. I know I need to get a couple of things out of my mind.

"I wander hopelessly trying to think about me
But I’m trying to forget the things that dwell on me
Sitting on a horse to the wind and sit in my comfortable tree
Mesmerised by the beautiful sky sit thinking where I wanna be
I'm gonna sleep with the peaceful moon again until the sun bleeds through
my eyes
I’m gonna wait until the morning comes to wipe the sleep out from my eyes "

Scott Matthews - Dream Song

The wonder of you

Hello

Back again after some blogger account trauma.

So, hows it going? Since I've last been able to blog an awful lot has happened in 3 weeks. Most importantly we had our 12 week scan.

Bean is doing just fine and whilst I play it cool with the misses, Inside I was desperate to hear that everything was OK. A lot of people pin so much significance to the 12 week scan that you can't help but be dragged along with the feeling that after this point it's ok or not ok.

My outward inertia belied the feeling of fear beneath my seeming cool exterior. To say I was shitting myself is an understatement.

For me all I wanted to hear from the the team at the hospital was that everything is alright.

I was so delighted I can not describe the feeling. In actual fact I have not articulated this to A and the first time she Will know about it is about 10 minutes after I post this.

Sorry I said feck all hon, I just didn't want to add to your worry.

Ok so without further a do, ladies and gentleman please say hello to Bean.

One Step Closer

OK on the recurring music theme I have running through my titles I thought I'd share something that made me a little aggressive, well actually it was more like rage. Angry young man rage, something I remember from 16 years ago when I was an angry young man trying to make sense of it all....snap out of it.

So my new job means I have the pleasure of commuting into London. Idyllic thoughts spring to mind of plush carriage's full of interesting characters. The men all in bowler hats off to the city to ensure our pensions funds and investments are being looked after. Young children with their Nanny's off to feed the birds (tuppence a bag) outside St Paul's Cathedral.

The hustle and bustle of the London Tube and suburban railway links are a million miles from auld London Town. One reason why Linkin Park on the iPod is a bad idea. The other is that I'm 32.
Grow up EMO is for the kids.

Break Me Gently

The new boy is settleing in.
There are always going to be difficulties when starting a new job and I definatly did not expect to have such a tough situation from day 1. You see I was headhunted for this role which is a completly new experience to me. The conversation contained this passage
"what me?"
"yes, they would be really interested in talking to you"
"are you sure that they want to speak to me though?"
"yes but if you don't phone in the next few minutes........"

I hung up to make the call and well here I am. I was interviewed by the big boss and he offered me the job more or less straight away and I agreed. Thing is, he employed me without my immediate boss meeting me and that has really pissed him off. So from Day 1 I have my work cut out to impress the man. Oh well.


This has been another important step away from the cloud that followed me around for so long. Depression really gets a hold of you and strangles out any self belief you may have. I have a renewed sense of worth and am full of positive energy which stems from the good baby news back before Christmas.

It is all to easy to forget how down I was feeling and now I can look forward to looking forward.


The misses is doing well, she is still taking things very easy and continues to feel nauseous almost everyday. Bean seems to be growing OK, judging by the new clothes that have appeared over the past few days. The next scan is now just 12 days away and we can't wait to see how our Bean is getting on.

We hope to get away for a few days before too long and enjoy some time together. Bean might appreciate the fresh air and I'm sure someday soon A will be able to enjoy more than a few hours without wanting to throw up.

Got the skills to pay the bills

What a shit couple of weeks. I have been working my arse off at work on a project for 3 months and the last few weeks have been the most stressful. I have been working more hours than anyone else in the company. I have been delivering on lead times, solving problems and all without a single thank you. I know most people hate their jobs and I do not expect to get a pat on the back for turning up at work every morning. But you would think that after 3 months of working hard and delivering results the boss would pull you to one side and say ‘ nice one’. Nope fuck all. Silence.

I have thrown a few hissy fits at home and the misses had been backing me up and been tremendously supportive.

Then I relax and remember that what really matters is the 3 B’s –

• My Beautiful wife




• Bean




• The Boy (my dog, jimi hendrix)

The misses has been in great form but feeling very sick most of the time. Food is bought then stored in the fridge and sometimes makes the plate before being thrown in the bin. I feel for her as even her favourite foods are making her feel nauseous.
- She has just announced that Green Thai Curry is also off the menu forever –

The Bean is growing and the belly is protruding, I can’t wait for the 12 week scan to get another look at the little beauty. I swing from feeling to feeling on the sex but we can’t bear to get to far ahead of ourselves.

The Boy is becoming a little more protective and we have spoilt the dopey little sod so much that we are not sure how he will be if we are lucky enough to get to meet Bean.

Oh by the way I had an interview today for a new job and was given the opportunity to head up a department in one of Europe’s biggest communications companies. I’m delighted and can’t wait to tell my current boss to ‘do one’ tomorrow morning.

It's 'Bean' a while

Yesterday (Friday) we had our first scan and the misses was on tenterhooks. I was pretty relaxed about the whole thing as she seems to looking pregnant with things like a bump is growing, the boob fairy has defiantly paid a visit and everything in the kitchen turns her stomach.

So we were absolutely blown away to see a little 'Bean' with a heartbeat on the ultrasound.
Bean is developing at a good rate 14mm in length and is only a couple of days behind (7w5d).

There is a palatable relief and even though the misses has to remain careful and cautious we have a 95% chance of going full term which is the best odds we've had so far.

So there it is, little Bean is lighting up my January.